The Royal “We”: Inclusive Language at Work
This was a very divisive year. We were isolated, differing opinions flared, and we faced contention around us. Yet, groups converged in the streets in solidarity. Communities united in advocacy. Just as much as “isolation” became a household staple of a word, inclusion became a buzzword in the professional world, and we’re here for it. While we could all do without so many work-related buzzwords (a la, “I have a ‘hard stop’ at 10”), there’s a reason they became buzzwords in the first place, and that is that they form habits, describe common behaviors, and in some cases, become part of a company culture.
Inclusion is a Buzzword– this is a good thing
So, the fact that companies are investing in Diversity & Inclusion (D&I) training, programs, employee resource groups, and hiring practices, and “inclusion” has become a buzzword, evolving corporate cultures and values into ones of belonging and psychological safety is a welcome development.
As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. While almost entirely virtual workforces are showing up to work each day through computer screens, which can easily divide and cause us to feel lonely and disconnected, a shift has emerged. We’re connecting about different topics than before, like home life and health — we’re having more human conversations in business, albeit on Zoom. We relate on common ground with family, friends, and colleagues as we’re all in the same boat, trying to protect health and overcome a pandemic and civil and social issues together.
Our renewed focus on inclusion at work is just what we need. And, it’s encouraging to see it happening. But maybe you don’t have access to an inclusion program at work, or this topic is new to you, or you’re still trying to figure out how you fit into the narrative of becoming an inclusive leader or employee.
Great, but how do I become more inclusive at work?
One place to start is to focus on our words, and on more collective language. Recently, I’ve noticed some language patterns from leaders in the workplace. Their language skews towards “I-centered” vocabulary, such as, “I want to see us focus in this area,” or “I don’t want us to focus in this area.” It implies one opinion overrides others, and as a team member in those meetings, I don’t feel included. It’s a simple thing, but if these sentences were worded with more “we-centered” language, such as, “Why don’t we brainstorm a bit more for some new solutions?”
Similarly, what if we use collective words like “let’s” or “us” or “our”. For example, instead of “I want to see us come up with better solutions,” how about “Let’s go back to the drawing board for some new ideas and regroup tomorrow.” Or, instead of sending emails representing teams focused on “I think we should,” what about “We decided [as a team] to focus our time in this area because of x, y, z for a, b, c outcome.” Inclusive language at works matters, even if we didn’t mean to come off as alienating or unwelcoming.
A page out of my book on other-centeredness, and a focus on “us”
Why am I writing about this? In my book, KNOCK: How to Open Doors and Build Career Relationships that Matter, I lay out 5 steps to building high quality career relationships that are mutually beneficial (in other words, inclusive of and welcoming to others). One step in The Knock Method, the cornerstone step represents the ‘N’ in K-N-O-C-K: Not About Me. This chapter is about applying social psychology concepts: Prosociality (behaving for the benefit of others) and Other-centeredness (focusing on others) to our work lives. The basis of the chapter highlights how you can cultivate high quality career relationships when you focus on others and on “us”, or what you and a contact, or you and another team, or your team and another team, can do together.
Being other-centered and using the Not About Me step in The Knock Method is more about what you can give and contribute to a career relationship, team, or partnership, rather than what you can get for yourself. So, using “we”, “us”, “our”, and “let’s” brings people into the circle, makes them feel included, and creates a sense of collective impact – that what we can do together is powerful.
Here’s a quote from the Not About Me Chapter to give you a flavor of this mindset and approach to developing your career:
“This book is about much more than transactional, this-for-that networking. And the intentional networking approach covered within these pages goes way beyond the job search. The Knock Method is about building positive, high-quality career relationships that have a greater collective impact, and these relationships can take many forms. This approach and connective mentality can help you establish a long-term relationship with a mentor. It can lead you to finding a cofounder for your startup. It can result in securing a lifelong donor who believes in your nonprofit organization. It can even bring teams together within a large company.” Furthermore, “Why focus on what you can give to relationships rather than what they can do for you? This approach—building positive, high-quality relationships—is actually good for your body and your mind.” Yes! We improve our health when we focus on others and quality relationships, rather than give-to-get career relationships. And, there’s research to prove it!
Join in
Sign up for the VIP book list so you can learn more about the physical and mental health benefits of thinking about others, fostering an inclusive work culture, and shifting your language and actions to be more about “us” instead of “me”.
I invite you to join me in working to shift your email, text, and verbal language at work and in meetings to be more inclusive. With some simple word swaps, you can cultivate a sense of others feeling welcome and that they belong at work. Make it about “us”, instead of about “I”. Bring others along for the journey, then go make a difference for your company, customers, and communities together.
How do you create a more inclusive work environment and what suggestions do you have for shifting small words that make a big difference in the name of teamwork and shared success? Share in the comments below!
